Sunday, September 16, 2012

Happy birthday

My baby boy was born one month ago today. One month ago, right now, I was cradling his sweet body, listening to his cute little noises, watching his sister adore him, seeing those around him fall in love with him. One month. On one hand it seems like an eternity but on the other it's like it was yesterday. 

The past month has been different than I expected. I feel like things are getting back to normal, but it's a new normal. I expected to be much more grief stricken than I am. But for the most part, I'm hanging in there, taking it a day at a time. I still dedicate parts of every day to Peter, be it talking to him, tending his garden, visiting the cemetery, looking at pictures. It's the only way to stay connected to my boy who I miss so desperately. 

After just a month I wonder how many people still think of him. How long will his memory stay alive? I'm overjoyed when I hear how his brief life has affected so many people. I hope to continue using his life and memory as an example of the preciousness of life. These children have worth, they have value. They are a true blessing. I just read a comment on an anencephaly support board by a women who lost her son 4 years ago. She talked about the blessing his life was to her family, and how even four years later he continues to bless them. I think that's a difficult concept to convey and, for those who haven't been there, to understand. But it's so true. 

1 comment:

  1. I just visited and wanted to let you know we are still thinking of you, and of Peter. We lost a little boy, Cameron, at 16 weeks gestation to Trisomy 18 last year, and his life, short as it was, and unseen, continues to bless us. I gave birth to his younger brother Andrew three weeks ago, by emergency c-section, a surprise after five other natural births. He was stuck tight, tied up in his cord and with a true knot to boot! I believe his brother interceded for him, and I believe Peter is sitting on Jesus' lap right now, whispering in His ear and interceding for you. Thank you for sharing Peter with us, his saint namesake being the brother of Andrew does not escape my notice. :-)
    In Christ,