Grieving

It's so comforting to have people ask how I am, just drop a line to see how I'm doing or let me know they're praying for me. If you have other friends or family who are grieving or in a difficult situation, most people seem to be comforted by knowing people remember them, recognize their pain, and care about them. You won't remind them of the grief by mentioning it - they haven't forgotten it. Especially for parents who've lost a child to miscarriage or stillbirth it seems common for people to expect that person to quickly "get over it" and move on. Others around them forget their loss or are uncomfortable by the mention of the lost child. But the parents don't forget the loss. Their children in heaven are as loved as their children on earth. What a tragedy it is for that child to be forgotten by all but the parents.

Check-ups

April 5th, Holy Thursday, I went to Annapolis for my midwife appointment and the monthly ultrasound. Peter is doing great. The perinatologist, Dr. Sweeny, said he looks great, healthy, and sees nothing so far that will cut the pregnancy short. Heart beat is strong and steady, but he is still measuring small. Now he's about 18-19 weeks (I'm almost 23 weeks). The midwives have been kind and supportive, and will still be the ones to deliver Peter even if we decide to go with a hospital delivery. 

It was so wonderful to see Peter on ultrasound, wiggling, kicking, playing with his fingers. The placenta is anterior, which is probably, along with his smaller size, why I haven't felt a lot of movement. I did feel three gentle kicks this morning, which was wonderful. 

Sirach 6

"Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter:

whoever finds one has found a treasure.

Faithful friends are beyond price;

no amount can balance their worth.

Faithful friends are life-saving medicine;

and those who fear the Lord will find them.”

-Sirach 6:14-16

We've been reading this passage during Friday stations of the cross. It really spoke to me. Those who have been so kind, generous, loving, supportive - they have been friends. Most are scattered across the county. Some I've never even met in person. Many who've prayed for us are friends or family members of friends, people I've never even spoken to. In a time when families are scattered across the county, are involved in their own goings-on, in a time of dwindling faith, in a time where people seek their own paths, I've been grateful for friends near and far, friends who've watched our kids, friends who've offered to drop everything and help us when the baby comes, friends who've sent books, made rosaries, are making clothes or blankets or hats. 

I don't believe it was God's will that my child die. I do believe that God takes tragedy and makes good come of it. I believe it's our job to find that good and nourish it. I believe making new friends is one of those goods that will come of this. 

Thank you.