I'm a little over 41 weeks along now. It doesn't seem that Peter is going to come on his own. It's not uncommon for babies with anencephaly to need to be induced. No one knows exactly what causes labor to begin but one theory is that the baby's brain sends signals to the kidneys. These babies may be unable to do that. That, coupled with his small size, and who knows how long I would stay pregnant if we let him just come when he was ready!
I'm working with my midwives on some more gentle induction methods this week. I am hoping they'll work and decided on those early because I had a strong feeling he wasn't going to come without help, and next week they'll go to pitocin. So, rather than do nothing and then go straight to pitocin, we are trying some other things first. Hopefully we get to meet Peter sometime this week or weekend. Otherwise I imagine he will make his appearance on August 23rd at the latest.
Today is the Feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary, where Catholics celebrate our belief that God saved Mary from bodily corruption and assumed her body and soul into heaven. I thought it would be a beautiful day for Peter to be born. I suppose we do still have 8 hours in the day!
I'm understandably scared and anxious. Obviously labor and birth are big deals even when you expect to greet a perfectly healthy baby at the end of it. I am worried about how I will handle the pain knowing that there is tragedy to follow. But there will also be joy. Keep me in your prayers if you will, that I will be able to put my sadness and anxiety aside and work with my body to have a safe, healthy, and comfortable labor.
Hi, I found your blog from your babycenter thread. Just wanted to let you know that I'll be praying for you during this difficult time. If you want to read a little bit about my son with anencephaly you can visit my blog - levihicks.blogspot.com. You may find my labor complications helpful to know what happened to me.... or maybe not! :) Our son, Levi, did not come on his own, and after much inducing at/after 42 weeks, he still did not come. We ended up having a C-section (versus trying to break the waters) and while it certainly was not what we were hoping for, we look back and feel it was God's great providence to us to have that c-sec. He was baptized in the O.R., lived for 16 amazing days, and spent Easter Sunday with us. God Bless you in your journey with such a special little person! :)
ReplyDeleteYou're in my prayers. My daughter died 48.5 hours after she was born. No illness or anything, just complications of delivery. Saying goodbye to your brand new baby is the hardest thing in the world!
ReplyDeleteFound you through Cam at A Woman's Place. You and your family are in my prayers. You are being asked to model our Lady in such an intimate way - no doubt she is standing by your side through it all. Oh, you are entrenched in my prayers, as is little Peter who has been called to enter Heaven as patron saint for the family he leaves behind.
ReplyDeleteBless you all. <3
God bless you and your family. You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. You are an amazingly strong woman of God, and I pray our Lady's intercession and comforting, mothering presence will be with you as you meet your precious baby boy.
ReplyDeleteFeel free to let me know if you need to talk about labor and delivery. Mine was totally uneventful and went very smoothly with Caroline. During labor, I was totally focused on just delivering her that I didn't really think about what would come next. I didn't have any pain meds, so I probably was too focused on breathing and pain management to do anything else. :) I still had "mom euphoria" after she was born, getting to hold her, all that, there was just another side to it, knowing I couldn't keep her. That part kind came later, and we were able to deal with it as it came. Hang in there...keep leaning on Christ for your strength and you'll be just fine.
ReplyDeleteI also found you through Cam at A Woman's Place. You are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI've been a friend of the Shock family since childhood. You, Steve and your entire family are in our prayers. Baby Peter is a testament to your grace and faith. Your four children are blessed to have you as their mother.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you and keep your sweet family and Peter's welcome to the world. Peace for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI heard of Peter's birth, the wonderful gift of time you were granted to spend with him before handing him over to God's hands. I pray you felt His presence at the moment Peter crossed from this life to the next. May you be granted 3 hours or 33 years, handing your child over to God is always heart wrenching. Your loss is great, but Peter's gain is greater. While my words can not provide comfort, I hope that the prayers of all those who love you and your family, those who know you, and those of us who have never met, reach and comfort you all.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers are with you during this difficult time. Two years ago my brother and sister-in-law lost their son, Victor Arthur to anencephaly. My sister-in-law also had to be induced as Victor did not seem to send the proper signals that it was time to be born. I hope that Peter Benedict's birth goes smoothly and that you are graced with some time with him before he goes to live with Jesus for eternity in Heaven. I hope you will find comfort in the knowledge that he will never have known anything on this earth other than love and that you will have a Saint in Heaven praying for you and your family.
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